


Guinea pigs make great anxiety pets

by Friendly_neighborhood_imbecille



Category: Danny Phantom, Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, Danny’s fucking dead, Humor, I’m not continuing it, M/M, brief mentions of sex, if you want to make a continuation go ahead, it’s a oneshot, kind of awkward, nothing close to explicit, this is basically crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Friendly_neighborhood_imbecille/pseuds/Friendly_neighborhood_imbecille
Summary: Of all the things he thought could go wrong in his (after?)life, getting drunk and sleeping with a hunter was probably the one he least expected.
Relationships: Danny Fenton/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 105





	Guinea pigs make great anxiety pets

“Rough night?”

Sam and Dean had come to this town after hearing about some strange murders happening here. The victims had all been decapitated with their heads found not far from the body. Each one was missing their heart and eyeballs, a few were also missing a lung or their liver as well. Seven people had been killed so far and the police were unable to find the murderer. Naturally, the Winchesters assumed that the killer was likely to be a monster and decided to investigate. There were a number of creatures it could have been, but nothing really added up. After a couple days of investigation with absolutely no results, the two decided to take a break and go to a local bar. It was here that Dean found a young man, probably in his mid twenties, looking like shit and drinking like he didn’t fear death. 

“Yeah, 8 year anniversary of my parents disowning me and kicking me out of the house. Good riddance, they were bigoted assholes.”

“How so?” It really wasn’t any of his business, but he was curious. Besides, guy might feel a little bit better if he talked about it. 

“They were homophobic, transphobic, racist, xenophobic, I’m sure there’s more. They were just horrible people.” He sighed and picked his bottle back up and started drinking again. 

“Well, then it sounds like you’re better off without them.” Dean suggested. He was trying to make the situation better, but he was always terrible with this stuff. 

“I guess.” He shrugged. “It’s just, I wish they were less horrible in the first place. Maybe then I would be able to at least visit. I mean, they may hate me, but I don’t hate them.” It seemed that by trying to make the situation better, he made it worse. Now the guy looked even more miserable than before. 

“What happened to get you kicked out?” Dean asked before he could really register what he was saying. The other guy looked slightly uncomfortable at the question, and he immediately regretted asking. “Sorry, that was rude, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No, no it’s fine.” The guy made an attempt to smile, but it looked kind of forced and came out more like a grimace. “You were just curious.” He took a deep breath and sighed before continuing. “I came out to them, and I guess they didn’t like it. My dad tried to shoot me, but my sister stopped him before he could.”

There was silence as Dean took a moment to take in the information. “Wow, thank god for your sister.”

“I know right? If not for her I would probably have died a hundred times over by now.” He chuckled like he had just made a joke. “How about you? You got any siblings?”

Grateful for the subject change, Dean quickly replied. “Yeah, my brother’s right over there. He’s the really tall one.” He looked over to where his brother was and waved a little enthusiastically, his brother looked at him questioningly and awkwardly waved back after a couple seconds. Dean turned back to the guy he was talking to and continued the conversation. “Without him, I’d probably be dead right now too. I’m really reckless and he stops me from doing really dumb shit.” 

The guy chuckled before replying. “I can relate.”

Suddenly the guy froze and facepalmed. “Sorry, I should have asked sooner, what’s your name?” He laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Dean, and you?”

“I’m Danny.”

After about an hour of talking and drinking Dean’s head was starting to feel more than a bit fuzzy. He hadn’t had an outrageous amount of alcohol, he still needed to be coherent enough to drive himself and Sam back to the motel. Danny on the other hand looked about ready to pass out.

“I think you should slow down a bit there. It’s getting pretty late and you look like you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” He recommended. 

“You’re right, I should prolly go home now.” Danny slurred while trying to stand up, tripping on his chair’s legs in the process. 

“I don’t think you should drive right now.”

“Sfine, sonly boutta mile. Sides, I don have a car, I’ll walk home.” He said while trying to untangle his legs from the chair. 

Dean could see how easily this could go wrong. The guy could get hit by a car, or kidnapped, or worse, killed by the monster they had come to get rid of. “How about I drive you home.”

The first thing Dean noticed when he woke up was that the bed was soft. Way too soft to be a motel bed unless they had gotten a good one this time, and he knew for a fact that they definitely did not have enough money for a good motel room.

The second thing Dean noticed was that he had a terrible headache. This wasn’t that unusual as headaches usually came as an after effect of being drunk, and Dean was drunk more often than he cared to admit.

The third thing Dean noticed was the sound of breathing coming from the other side of the far too soft bed. It sounded off, way too quiet and way too slow. It didn’t sound anything like Sam’s breathing. It was at this moment that Dean decided that opening his eyes might be a good idea. 

It was dark, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but when they did, he started to panic. There on the other side of the bed was a dark haired man wrapped up with blankets and hugging a pillow, definitely not Sam. The moment he recognized the man, memories of the night before started to fall in place.

“Fuck.”

As carefully as possible, Dean lifted the covers, grabbed his keys, a shirt, and a pair of pants from the floor and quickly began his escape. It was dark and everything was barely visible. The soft light from the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling did absolutely nothing to help his eyesight. Just as he was reaching the door, his knee bumped loudly into an open dresser drawer. He winced, then looked back to the bed to see if the sound had woken up the other man. Luckily, it seemed that he was a heavy sleeper and had not woken up. Dean let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding in and slowly opened the bedroom door, walked through the doorway, and carefully closed it with a light click.

It was significantly lighter in this area than it was in the bedroom, it looked as though someone had forgotten to turn off a light somewhere in the apartment. Dean scanned the room for whatever door looked most likely to be the exit when he noticed something he definitely did not see before. It was small and furry, it looked kind of like a hamster, but bigger. It’s eyes were facing in opposite directions and it’s hair spiked up all over the place. It stared at him oddly, raised its head as if about to scream, or squeak, or whatever noise this thing made, then lowered it’s head and assumed its original position, back to staring at Dean. After around thirty seconds of this, the creature seemed to become bored and waddled off to another room, it’s claws clacking against the hardwood floor as it moved. Deciding to try and forget the odd encounter Dean decided to hurry towards the door he deemed most likely to be an exit.

Turns out, the door he selected was indeed the exit. While in the hallway, he quickly ran while attempting to put on the shirt and pants he acquired from the bedroom floor. Fortunately the pants he grabbed were his and fit him, the same could not be said for the shirt, but it would have to do. He quickly made his way to the elevator, rode it to the ground floor, then bolted to his Impala. The second he got in the car he drove as fast as he could towards the motel he and Sam were supposed to be staying at.

He didn’t bother to stay quiet when opening the door, he had already done enough sneaking around for the day. And so, consequently, Sam knew exactly when he had arrived and was immediately ready to lecture him.

“Look who finally decided to show up. I had to walk 2 miles to the motel in the rain and-”

“You know that guy I was talking to at the bar?” Dean cut him off. Whatever Sam had to say could wait. This was way too important to put off.

Sam then took in his brother’s appearance and groaned. “Oh no, Dean you didn’t.”

“Turns out he’s not human.” 

Sam froze, not expecting this turn of events and stuttered out a weak reply. “O,okay, How did you find this out?”

“He, he,” Dean awkwardly cleared his throat and tried to put his words together as eloquently as possible. “His hair and eyes flash white and green during sex.” 

Sam was silent for a moment before he dragged his hand over his face and groaned out a reply. “Oh my god.” 

Knock knock  
After the stunning revelation that ‘Danny from the bar’ was not in fact human, Sam and Dean decided to confront him and determine whether or not he was the one killing people. and if he wasn’t the one killing people, they would determine whether or not he was a threat to humanity. If he turned out to be a threat, they would deal with said threat by pumping it full of lead, silver, or whatever killed the thing. But currently, they were just waiting patiently at the door.

From inside this door a loud crash could be heard followed by an exclamation of “Shit!” and “Coming!”

The door opened to reveal ‘Danny from the bar’ looking fairly disheveled with bags under his eyes and wearing space themed onesie pajamas oddly enough. He scanned their faces, then his eyes widened in recognition.

“Oh, well, um,” He rubbed the back of his neck in what was obviously a nervous habit, then opened the door wider and gestured for them to enter. “Come in I guess?”

He led them to the living room and waved towards the couch before walking to the kitchen. “You can sit here, can I offer you any beverages? I only really have water, hot chocolate, and tea, oh and eggnog. Why do I have eggnog?”

“No, that’s fine, we don’t need anything.” Sam replied awkwardly. He was looking around the room, it was not at all what he expected. Less creepy items that would look at home in a horror movie and more ghostbusters and space paraphernalia.

“Okay.” Danny made his way back to the living room and sat down on a chair facing the couch with a mug of eggnog in hand. “So, not to be rude or anything, but why exactly are you here?” He took a sip of his eggnog.

“You aren’t human.”

And promptly started choking on it. After about thirty seconds of choking and coughing due to a good portion of eggnog going down the wrong pipe, Danny finally had enough control over his vocal cords to cough out a weak “Excuse me?”

Dean then repeated the phrase with a little less confidence than when he had said it the first time “I said you aren’t, erm, human.”

“And you know this how?” Danny asked, acting as if he was completely baffled by the entire situation. After all, these people had no proof (at least he thought they didn’t) and maybe if he acted like the idea of him being anything but human was crazy, they would start to doubt themselves and he could weasel his way out of the situation.

“Your hair and eyes they, erm-”

Unfortunately the current situation was unweaselable. “Oh my god.” He set the mug of eggnog down on the coffee table and covered his face with his hands out of sheer mortification.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god. That is so fucking embarrassing. I thought I stopped doing that two years ago. Uuugh.” He groaned in frustration “Maybe I just can’t control it when I’m drunk off my ass.”

At this, Sam decided that now was as good a time as any to jump into the conversation. “He was drunk?”

“He wasn’t that drunk.” Dean attempted to shift the focus away from that particular detail.

Danny started to laugh incredulously. Not because the situation was funny mind you, this laugh was more out of shock than humour. “Are you kidding me? I barely remember what happened last night. All I know is that I met you in a bar, you brought me home, and then I’m naked in my bed smelling like sex and my ass hurts like a sonnova bitch.”

“Okay maybe he was drunk.” Dean relented. 

This situation seemed to keep getting more and more uncomfortable for all parties involved. Sam awkwardly cleared his throat and tried to bring the conversation back to its original topic. “So, what are you?”

“Why the hell should I tell you?” Danny asked with an eyebrow raised. These people were in no way entitled to an explaination. And he had half a mind to kick them out, hospitality and politeness be damned.

Then Dean pulled a gun from his jacket and things got a little more serious.

Danny put his hands up in order to try and placate the quite possibly crazy man. “Okay, Isn’t it kind of rude to fuck a drunk guy in his own house, then kill him, again in his own house?” Danny was trying to sound calm and confident, but he was actually terrified and was sure that it showed in his voice. Sure he had had ecto-weapons shoved in his face before, but this was an actual gun. Even though it was less rational to be scared of guns more than ecto-weapons he had grown up around ecto-weapons, but he had only seen an actual gun once in his existance before this.

“Nothing personal, It’s just the job.” Dean said with a cocky tone of voice. This was when Danny finally realized what exactly was going on.

“Greeeeaaaat, just my luck to sleep with a hunter. you can put that away. I’m not gonna hurt you even though I have reason enough, and you have no reason to hurt me. We can talk this through like mature adults.” He said, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was still wearing a space onesie. The gun did not move from it’s position, still pointed at his face. Danny sighed and tried a different approach. “Look, I’ve never really hurt any humans in my life, if you don’t count kicking dash baxter in the nuts in middle school. I’m not a bad person, and I don’t think I deserve to die. If you still want to kill me, go ahead. But you’ll have to live with that guilt forever.” 

He thought that his speech was pretty good and believable, and due to the lack of a gun pointed at his face, he was safe to assume he was correct.

“We won’t kill you.” Dean said.

The room was completely silent save for the sound of nails clicking against hardwood in another room. This silence was eventually broken by Danny slumping in his seat, eyes wide, looking like he had just escaped death by rabid moose.

“Oh my god. That was the most stressful thing that’s happened to me all week, give me a moment I need to get something.” he walked into another room, then came back with the fuzzy creature that dean had seen the night before. He sat back down on the chair and started petting the thing. “Sorry, I’ve just been getting panic attacks really often recently and I heard that guinea pigs help with that and this has not been a good day so far.” He rambled in explanation. 

“As dean was saying, we won’t kill you if-”

Danny cut him off “An ulterior motive, shoulda known.”

“If you help us on this next hunt.”

“That’s,” Danny exclaimed, ready to argue, but then stopped and actually thought about the condition. “Actually, that’s not so terrible.” He conceded.

“Really?” Dean asked incredulously. He was not expecting the man to accept their terms so easily.

“Yeah.” Danny chuckled. “I mean. Whoever it is that you’re hunting has probably killed someone in order to gain your attention right?”

“Yeah?” Sam asked more than said, no doubt also confused by the turn of events.

“Exactly. I actually used to do the same thing before my parents kicked me out. The whole ‘hunting monsters’ thing that is. It was kinda the family business.”

“O,okay.” Sam stuttered “By the way, you never did tell us what you were.”

“Oh right.” If he was going on a hunt with them, he might as well let them know. Besides, they already knew he wasn’t human. His hair and eyes faded from black and blue to white and green. He stood up and placed the guinea pig on the chair before giving a mock bow, which looked fairly ridiculous as he was still in the space themed pajamas “Danny Phantom, ex ghost hunter and superhero of amity park at your service.” 

“Phantom?” Sam asked, no doubt confused by the odd name.

“I died and chose the name when I was 14 and it stuck. Give me a break, at least I hadn’t gone through my emo phase yet.” He shuddered at the thought.

“Wait a second,” Dean looked slightly pale “Are you saying you’re a-”

“A ghost, yep.” Danny cut him off before pointing finger guns in his direction. “And that makes you a necrophile.”

“Oh my god.” Dean put his head in his hands.

“So, what are we hunting?”


End file.
